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| LEA TANZMAN APPELMAN |
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| LEA TANZMAN APPELMAN |
LEA TANZMAN APPELMAN
Lea Tanzman Appelman z"l (1926-2006) obtained her Ph.D. in English from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Her books include Symbolism in Melville’s Pierre, Symbolism in Six Novels of William Golding, A Theory of the Creative Process, and Killing Will: The Fitterman Syndrome which it is our privilege to post here in its entirety. Her poems have appeared in many Hebrew and English periodicals in Israel. The poems below were selected from her collection, B'Oto Reg'a (That Moment), which received the Keren Amos prize shortly before her death and is being prepared for publication in Israel.. Most were written in Hebrew; translations are by Ada Aharoni, Esther Cameron, Hadassah Haskale, Ruth Finer Mintz, Lea Tanzman Appelman, and Yosef Yehezel.
from THAT MOMENT
Here Festival * That Moment * The Memorial Service * The Broca Center * The Scales of Justice * Mrs. Salinger * Twenty Six Words * Twilight * 180 Degree Turn * In spite of all * Alienation * Fluid Time * On the Threshold * Confession * 180 Degree Turn * Slowdown * Faithfully * Tiredness * Concert on His 70-th Birthday * The Dead Cat * Desire * Bird running about on the patio * Attempt at Reconstruction * Open the gate * Comfortable * De Profundis * The Girls were little * A Pack of sharks * The stone/path * Oedipus at Colonus * Cronos * In the Morning * Instructions for assembling * The Road * Truly * A Twin Poem * A Short happy -- stop -- poem
HERE FESTIVAL
Here now
is festival
with flowers
and music
and the apple
(English original)
------------------
THAT MOMENT
that moment a year ago
I wore a brown coat
and a red scarf
and I was exposed
that moment a year ago
the wound opened
poured blood
that moment a year ago
the wound on my knee
opened its mouth
poured blood
I was still
that moment a year ago
that moment a year ago
T h a t M o m e n t A Y e a r A g o
(translated by Hadassah Haskale)
------------------
THE MEMORIAL SERVICE
Yesterday I went to my memorial service
at the service they called me
Mrs.
and Mrs.
I cried
because
No
One
from
the family
had come
to the memorial
( Each and his own madness
Each one and his pain )
Except my children
and
a few
neighbours
that
happened
by
(translated by Yosef Yehezkel)
------------------
THE BROCA CENTER*
I cried.
Drops of blood
fell on the floor
and continued.
The professor
continued
to sepak
on the Broca Center
on the left
temporal lobe
I had a big notebook
blue with
spirals.
I stopped
writing I didn't know
how to stop
the blood I couldn't
cry more
strongly
only
blood
I didn't find
a way
I didn't leave.
After that the lecture
stopped
The drops stopped
I wiped
some
of the blood
off the floor
and left
(translated by Hadassah Haskale)
----------------
THE SCALES OF JUSTICE
Honorable judge
Heavy with honour
Short
Wigged with greyed hair
Black robed
And on his chest
Chequerboard woven squares
Diagonally moulded into the wool
The color of pale grey
Friendly
Very much so
*
And I
Then
In all innocence
Shouted
(translated by Lami Halperin)
----------------
MRS. SALINGER
asks me whether I
write and I am wondering
whether to tell her that I
write. I answer her that I
write yes I write.
In my hand I am holding
my yellow pencil with the eraser
at the end that I’ve been working with
lately. She asks me the
terrible question whether
it was worth it only it’s phrased
differently: whether
it had to be this
way. I answer her that today
there’s no need to ask that
question. Since it is this
way it must have had to be this
way. I ask her
where they are living in Jerusalem.
(translated by Esther Cameron)
----------------
TWENTY SIX WORDS
to Yaron
A man mounts I
an angle go up
between 2 walls with him
several stories high behind
trying the back-gallery
to raise masked .
a woman’s head He holds
pictured there my hand lightly
huge or doesn’t .
bodiless Darkness .
like But
an advertisement we managed
painted Moment of light
painted Signal
laughing to public .
(translated by Hadassah Haskale)
----------------
TWILIGHT
of remembered shapes
and remembered pathos
or
rather
the mild light and
shade play of actual forms
and the sharpness
the sharpness
of remembered shapes
upon the wall
(English original)
-----------------
IN SPITE OF ALL
sitting at the table
in the early afternoon
feeling indistinctly we are living in paradise
with the expanse of garden sunlight houses view and tower
on my right
and the silken violet-blue flowers
on my mother’s dress
on my left.
(English original)
-----------------
for Ben Zion
A L I E N A T I O N
Write us today the nascence of the world
When you were still a stranger
And we as yet unacquainted with sin
When the mountains were high upon the horizon
And the skies were high above the horizon
And the skies were seen far out above the horizon
quiescent
(translated by Josef Yehezkel)
----------------
F L U I D T I M E
very often
very tired
you wanted time
fluid around you
with glowing golden copper coins
elongated
served
on small
oval-shaped
herring glass-plates
and scars in flesh
don't heal by definition.
(English original)
-----------------
On the threshold
In the store
overflowing with people
materials hang
pink satin pillowcases
a shop
for brides
I heard
someone laugh
when I turn around
in the gold framed mirror
I saw
my wet tears
(translated by Ruth Finer Mintz)
-----------------
CONFESSION
I said the confession
without fervor without hope
without wanting to
without compulsion external or internal
(or perhaps some external)
against my will
I trampled the courts
without conviction
against my will
my mouth
tore at it
my hands
like a drunken woman
without wits
against my will
(translated by Esther Cameron)
--------------------
180 DEGREE TURN
And I was free
I just
forgot
forgot
that the mouth
must
remain
closed
and one must take
a line
a line
a line
not
not
not a straight line
that's
against
the rules
(translated by Esther Cameron)
----------------
SLOWDOWN
A slowdown is needed
in the rate of the pulse
the gears of thought
a revolving
motion
A slowdown
is needed
in the rate
of the pulse
A slowdown
is needed
in the rate
the rate
the rate
of thought
revolving
around
(translated by Esther Cameron)
--------------------
FAITHFULLY
I take off and put on that
hide of an elephant
according to plan
A single garment
that serves me
faithfully
excuse me
that serves her
faithfully
(translated by Esther Cameron)
----------------------
TIREDNESS
After
everything fell
the bottom
they called the gray ocean
fell first
(translated by Esther Cameron)
---------------------------
For violinist Leon J. Goldman
who heard Yehudi play at seventeen:
CONCERT ON HIS 70-TH BIRTHDAY
barely touched
the barge
blond women in black
lace
velvet
the face
lighted
upturned
high
firm stance
rosy
fingers
barely touching
lights diamonds
flowers
(English original)
------------------
THE DEAD CAT
At the corner
on the way to Mother
I so much did not want
my little daughter
to see
it was
only
three snow-
covered stones
that dead cat follows me
sometimes
(E.C.)
--------------------------
DESIRE
I am left
with one
desire
stronger
than all
the others
a strong
desire
to weep
to my heart’s
content.
(translated by Esther Cameron)
------------------
THURSDAY A.M.
Last night I dreamed I was in
Mr Fineman’s office applying for work.
He didn’t have time. The office was rather
dark, he looked somewhat like
the man with a bit of a beard who
used to audit Personality.
He told me write. I said
no because last year I wrote just
for the record and they answered me
in the negative as if I had really applied
and that offended me.
he told me send part of your work
the part about character.
so unlike Fineman
to be interested in character
I told him my whole work
is character and I’d send him
the key and some other material.
on that we concluded.
(translated by Esther Cameron)
-----------------------
AFTER THE PLEASURE PARTY
We had tall drinks
out of tall glasses
in the twilight
in the cafeteria
we sipped cold drinks
out of wet glasses
after the pleasure party
in the evening
we trod the wet grass
after the pleasure party
for the last time
and refused
we sipped the cold evening
out of the tall grass
we touched the pleasure
we trod the wet grass
after the pleasure party
after the sun had sunk
for the last time
and refused
(English original)
-----------------------
BLACK SHADOW OF A LILY
On the white wall
in a night of waiting
the shadow of a white lily
large and fragrant
on the white wall
in a night of waiting
the shadow
a black lily
on the white wall
shadow
lily
on the wall
my street is quiet in the night of waiting
the shadow
of a white
lily
is a charm
the shadow of a white
lily
is a charm
spellbound
my street is quiet in the night of waiting
the glass door to my balcony is open
the car does not come
the lights of the car
do not shake
the petals
of the white lily
the headlights have nailed
the pattern of a white lily
to the white wall
nailed it there
the wind does not stir
the black skin
of the white lily
my street is quiet in the night of waiting
the wind does not stir
the black skin
of the pure
white lily
the wind does not stir
(translated by Esther Cameron)
--------------------
AND I AM JUST
flesh and blood
flesh and blood
just blood and flesh
a blood- mark
on my face
blood
on my face
and I am just
blood
blood that sings
blood that screams
and I am just
blood
and I am just flesh and blood
(translated by Esther Cameron)
-------------------------
LAMENTATION
How do we sit on the ruins of our houses
functioning
as if nothing had happened
I saw on stone
a drawing of a man
who forgot that he had no guitar and went on strumming
(translated by Esther Cameron)
-----------------------------
EXPERIMENTS
The young birds grow
on the trees
like figs
and words fly away
like birds
which are not to return
and the blossoms
grow to fruit
heavier than I
can
carry
(translated by Esther Cameron)
--------------------------
THE GIRLS WERE LITTLE
THE GIRLS WERE LITTLE
There was much pain
THE FUTURE
The kind that shall come
Belonged to us.
(translated by the author)
----------------------
TO CHAVA WITH LOVE
Birds running about on the Patio
These are
the best
moments
in life
I said to Miky
I count
these moments
among the best
in my life
Liran is running around in a dress with violet-blue polka dots which Chava sent
with Merav on the flat stone steps
Against a background of white tables and chairs in the strong sunlight of late afternoon
And Liran said I want you to take my drawing and carry it to Chava by plane
And after that a bird came up to the middle of the lawn
like an overgrown sparrow black all over
Following on her tail
another bird came with a scepter
on her head
And half her body scales of dull gold
and she fled, flew away with the black one chasing
(translated by Lami Halperin with Eva Avi-Yonah)
-------------------------
ATTEMPT AT RECONSTRUCTION
The last moments
could no longer be reconstructed now
at the official ceremony no one spoke
of technical details
of the burnt body
"May they rest in peace"
the final despair
the flames
it was expected anyhow with the help of the tape box
that was found
at first the strong cold
over the whole body without meaning
heat of all the flames
first in the eye
the muddle of the noise
the mind works quickly
the flames too
quickly
this is a day of reading
this is a day of reading crying and shrieking
and then only a day of rending
and then only a day of reading and rending
"Shout with the throat"
thoughts quickly
the attempt
to escape
to earth
"to the final rest
in the bosom of the earth"
there was no room
only
"for eternal rest
among brothers"
only the senses the madness
only the loss of the senses
light great and awful
skin great and awful
skin awful body
body large
and awful the corpse
the thoughts are not worth speaking of
anyway one could not reconstruct
the tapebox
did not provide the answer
Ah. Brothers. Ah.
(translated by Ruth Finer Mintz)
--------------------
STASIS
Light
that is not light
not darkness
not light of street lamps
translucent
and standing
Motionless a wave
of time
without crease
within the horizon of street and garden
There remains the attempt
to set
this light
with exactitude
upon the curve
of time
(translated by Ruth Finer Mintz)
--------------------------
Open the gate for us even at the closing of the Gate
The possibilities and the probabilities
were good and many
The contraction in the size of P occurred in stages
at first only a few seconds were lacking for the escape
after-that
feet hobbled
and hands
eyes tied for the removal
suddenly shots
the door is open
(translated by Ruth Finer Mintz)
[Note: In statistics, P stands for the probability of success]
----------------------------
For Fruma Bregman
(1900-1973)
COMFORTABLE
They lowered her down
made her comfortable
hands no longer tied
for fear she would yank out
the tube
Leib Rochman spoke
a eulogy
then
we
left
(translated by Esther Cameron)
--------------------
DE PROFUNDIS
to Dr. M.M. Fitterman
We had come to Psalm 130
I stood in the shade
photographing
now and
then
praying faster than the others
finally him
that is the parcel with his name
(translated by Esther Cameron)
-----------------------------
For Elisheva Landmann
A PACK OF SHARKS
Unaccepted
She created landscapes
painted with dark blues and greys dark
And taunt some with splashes of yellow
Wrote slicing steel
A pack of sharks into flesh
Made hard ceramics
Masks bisected faces
pink and bright violet
Splitting into twos man and woman
She was free to go
At last accepted into this earth
Mount of Olives
(translated by Josef Yehezkel)
----------------------------
GIGANTIC BLACK BIRD
in profile
hovering on my home street
breast even with the housefront
at the crossing
wet hair combed back in swift flight like a horse
she is huge
at second- or third-floor height
illuminated by the blue flare
of neon
(translated by Esther Cameron)
----------------------------
ASCENT FROM THE UNDERWORLD
The bough
lies before me
leafless
bare
with my right
hand
with the palm
and fingers
I touch
the tip
and green leaves start forth
from the tip
as I continue
touching the bough
with my fingers
at natural intervals
asymmetrically
the beautiful green
leaves
growth
of perfect green
leaves
on both sides
of the bough
I had only
to put forth
my hand
(translated by Esther Cameron)
------------------------------
LEGEND
The plaque by the door-bell
Glossy red-orange
Glazed ceramic
Broad and rectangular
Instead of legend
Signs of uprooting in white ceramic
Diagonally
Like nails that have gouged out
(translated by Josef Yehezkel)
--------------------
FRAMES
i In the tub
I sharpen my nails
To dig them into
The palms of my hands
ii Fingers
Strong
Against the wall
Unrelenting
iii Languid street scene
On the left side of the room
iv The wall receding micron by micron
v The scene in the picture in the nickel frame
On the left walll near at hand
(translated by Josef Yehezkel)
---------------------
A QUICK GLIMPSE WITHOUT LICENCE
upon translucent stones
in my possession
glistening
mountings
glistening
silvery
massive
strewn
Kept
behind lock
wide open
Surprising
star gleam
Intimately hear
So close at hand
Not mine
(translated by Josef Yehezkel)
-----------
UTILITY
"In another three weeks"
But then / would already be late / much too
Too late
Unless someone will want
Will want
Someone
To use
The green-black scarf
While mourning / for crying into
For me
(translated by Josef Yehezkel)
------------------------
THE STONE/PATH
On this stone path
Among the
Green weeds
For this stone
For this
Memorial weight
On the path of the words that lead
For the letters
I gave
(translated by Hadassah Haskale)
------------------------
OEDIPUS AT COLONUS
A -
ll I know
The wide o -
pen mouth
shaking with the stasis
of the dead
sob. Holl -
Ow.
The hollOw
sockets of
the tearless eyes
now
The last straw
The last remnant of classical culture
or any culture
O!
(English original)
--------------------------
CRONOS
Half the stone face
of the illustrious
Empress
Theodora
of the chapel royal
of Ravenna
on the face
of the gold leaf
beaten so fine
blinding
facing
the halved face
of the young girl
sentient
Oh sorrow of pain
striving toward halo of stone
toward face of stone
broken
(translated by Ruth Finer Mintz)
----------------
IN THE MORNING, ON THE RADIO
The end of night
a howling of dogs
in the last dream
The moon’s light
stretched taut
like gum
One could go mad
another soldier dead in the canal.
(translated by Hadassah Haskale)
---------------
END OF SUMMER
I am cutting
empty
pieces
of paper
and looking
at them
(translated by the author)
--------------------
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ASSEMBLING
Take a man and a woman
Cut them in the middle
And join them the other way around
Like
A woman’s face
Shadowed on one side
And shining
On the other
A candle
Shining
In darkness
And shedding light
On
Bare walls
And two puppies
On the surface
Of a red bakelite
Medallion
Gallop from the bottomland of memory
As emblems of separation
The city
Flung itself in my eyes
In handfuls
(translated by Esther Cameron)
-------------------
THE ROAD
All
the roads
are barred
a pit
beneath
my feet.
All
the roads
are open
(apparently)
the net
is spread.
(translated by Ada Aharoni)
--------------------
TRULY
the gods
love
the young
the gods
love
the young
truly
the gods
love
the young
truly
those who are
dead
truly
(translated by Esther Cameron)
-------------------
A TWIN POEM
i Letters
hiding them on the ocean-floor
and putting them out to dry
island
visible
afar
signal
radiating
around it
ii The island
mount
visible
from
afar
haze of mist
sun hidden
signal
radiating
(English original)
------------------
A SHORT HAPPY ---- STOP ---- POEM
Yes
This too is possible
We went out
on the Sabbath
Before noon
with our baby
with my baby-girl
in a carriage
Me
my husband
And Mother
A great light
sun
And a pink silk blanket
Nostalgia
consumed me
beforehand
(translated by Hadassah Haskale)
